MCU Abbreviated Cut - Phase One

The Challenge:

Create an "abbreviated" cut of the Marvel Cinematic universe, keeping all the best moments but watchable in a single sitting - or at least a weekend. Cut up chronology any way you like, but limit the time to 3 hours for each Phase and/or year of television.

My main process for shaving down the runtime is to cut a lot of villain "buildup" moments because, let's face it, it usually doesn't go anywhere, because most of the villains in the MCU are one-and-done. Following that, cutting any abandoned plot point that doesn't go anywhere saves a lot of time (Iron Man 2 has a lot of those because of the lack of continuation into Iron Man 3). Finally, any extensive buildup for characters or drawn out foreshadowing can be left out, because for this cut, we can assume it's fans watching, not a GA who doesn't know who characters are.

So here we go, draft one of my Phase 1 cut - let me know how you would do it!

Captain America: The First Avenger
I'm going to cut out a lot of "skinny Steve" moments because we know he becomes Captain America, so a lot of that is, for this cut, a waste of time. But I want to keep in a little so that we see that Cap spirit even without the body.

I would open in the theater scene, with Cap telling the bully to show respect. Include the alley fight and Bucky's entrance. Then cut all the way to the Stark Expo where Steve decides to enlist again. We don't need to hear about all the other times, just starting here will do. Include the talk with Bucky while Erskine overhears, and Erskine's offer to Steve. From there, we go to boot camp where we only spend a fraction of the time. Again, we know he's going to do it. But we include the introduction of Col. Philips and, more importantly, Peggy Carter. Cut out a lot of the "Steve's a weakling" shots, but include Philips talking to Erskine and my personal favorite moment of the film, the dummy grenade. Keeping the flagpole gag in too will help build the relationship with Peggy and the fact that Steve thinks differently than other men.

Pretty soon I would cut to the operation because, again, we know that's where it's going. So we have the operation, the death of Erskine, and the Heinz Kruger chase and fight. Show Skull with Zola containing the cube, but we don't need to see Skull obtaining it. Cut out the "chorus girl" subplot and go straight to Rogers rescuing the POWs. Maybe a brief snippet of the stage days to explain the costume, but we don't need to see a lot of that. After rescuing the soldiers, show Stark equipping Rogers for future combat, and the Howling Commandos montage, going right into the death of Bucky and the final assault on the Skull and the plane crash. No ending scene in modern times yet

Most of the cuts are from the first two-thirds of the film.

Agent Carter
From the series, show some footage (very trimly cut) of her working with the Howling Commandos, discovering the Red Room, rescuing Fenhoff, fighting Dottie, Fenhoff killing Dooley, and being put in prison with Zola.

The series is actually pretty self-contained, so we don't need a lot of it. More Howard Stark would be nice and certainly some of Jarvis, but the series shouldn't contribute too much to this cut. The short, however, would be nice to include, because that's already very trim, and aside from character points shows as much as clips from the show would.

Ant-Man
As a bonus, we could include the Pym-Carter-Stark exchange from Ant-Man's opening, and the scene of Ant-Man and Wasp in action.

Iron Man
Open with the opening shot of the convoy, but when it explodes, skip the whole casino scene. Cut right to the cave, waking up and speaking with Yinsen, and the "deal" made with Raza's second-in-command. I would cut out most stuff with Raza himself, because he's not actually that important. Skip right to Stark explaining the plan to Yinsen and them starting the breakout. Keep the Yinsen death speech of course and then Stark getting the Hell out of Dodge.

Back in the US, skip the press conference and Stane buildup, and testing of individual suit components (maybe keep a little for the comedy) and focus right on the test flight, and Mark III design. Keep the Stane reveal at the party, the scene with Pepper after Tony's first mission (Are those bullet holes?) and the Iron Monger reveal with Coulson and Pepper, leading to the final fight. No stinger yet.

The Incredible Hulk
The opening montage is gold - keep that in. Cut the subplot with Mr. Blue until it actually becomes important, but show Banner's homemade lab. Show the blood spill in the factory (Stan's first cameo in this cut) immediately followed by the attack by Ross et al. Cut to Betty finding Bruce at Stan's and meeting Sterns, along with Blonsky becoming abomination. Forget most of the helicopter shots and cut right to the Harlem fight. No Stark cameo yet.

Iron Man 2
Cut the opening Stark Expo nonsense. Cut the entire palladium poisoning and not-"demon in a bottle" subplot, and the new element, because none of those plot points are continued in Iron Man 3 (thanks, Shane). Even the Howard Stark subplot can go. Stark's first scene should be in the ring with Happy, introducing Romanoff and showing Pepper becoming CEO. Forget Whiplash's first fight - forget everything at the Grand Prix. Again, this is all about the Howard Stark subplot that Shane Black completely ignored, so it can go. Whiplash's first moment should be Justin Hammer breaking him out of prison, and him and Hammer meeting should be Hammer's first appearance.

Cut Stark meet with Fury at the donut shop and save the "Rushman" as Black Widow reveal for her scene with Happy. Show an argument between Rhodes and Stark ("they're gonna take your suits!") but skip the party. Just show Rhodes taking the suit and getting it weaponized. Cut to Hammer taking the stage at the Stark Expo (we don't need to see Vanko working on the drones much), and the whole fight between the Hammer Drones, Crimson Dynamo, Iron Man, and War Machine, and of course keep Black Widow's best scene in the movie, with Happy in the background.

Finally we get to

The Stingers
First show the scene with Fury in Stark's house. I know this isn't technically correct chronology but it fits nicer. Then show the donut shop scene from Iron Man 2, cut to avoid plot points from that film (poisoning), but revealing Romanoff as Black Widow to Tony. Include the "Southwest Region" line from Fury to lead into A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Thor's Hammer, and finally show The Consultant complete with the ending scene from The Incredible Hulk.

Thor
Cut out a lot of crap with Foster, Selvig, and especially Darcy. Focus on Thor.
Show the flashback of the battle against Jotunheim, but cut the coronation scene before the weapons vault. We need the weapons vault fight to lead to Thor leaving with Loki, Sif, and the Warrior's Three. Most of the battle on Jotunheim can stay, including Odin's interference and the subsequent banishment of Thor.

Cut to the "Excalibur" scene and the talk at the diner (we don't need to see Thor get hit, tazed, injected, and hit again), where Thor learns Mjolnir's whereabouts. Skip Jane's back-and-forth and cut to her driving Thor there (sorry, no "I need a horse!). Thor breaks in, keep Coulson, Hawkeye, and Selvig. After he fails, skip the interrogation, skip Loki's scene, cut to Selvig getting him out. From there, cut right to the Warrior's Three arrival (don't need to see Thor and Selvig act like fratboys), the arrival of the Destroyer, and the battle between the five of them. Thor returns to Asgard (cut out as much Jane as possible) and destroys the Bifrost. Then cut straight to the cube (no Heimdall, we don't need to see Jane and Darcy again), being shown to Selvig, and Loki's influence.

The Avengers
Cut out a lot of buildup. We've had five movies, four shorts, and a TV show of buildup. Cut all that filler. Show Loki attacking project PEGASUS to introduce Hill and show Hawkeye being taken. After that, show the scene from Captain America: The First Avenger where Cap wakes up and Fury makes contact. Then cut to Germany, where Cap and Widow attack Loki, and Stark comes in (Cap meets Stark). Keep some of the forest fight, but not too much because we know they aren't going to be enemies. At this point (not the same time as the film), have Coulson call Widow to recruit Banner. Show Fury imprisoning Loki, and Loki's speech to Widow. Keep some of the "Phase 2" banter but not much. Jump quickly to Loki escaping, Coulson dying, and almost immediately to them heading the Manhattan. Keep most of the fight, Thanos, and Shawarma.

Agents of SHIELD
Item 47 doesn't lead anywhere, because we haven't seen those again. If you include it, trim it. The more important coda to Phase 1 is the Pilot of Agents of SHIELD, showing Coulson back from the dead and the beginning of his adventure.

Can that all fit into 3 hours? I have no idea, and I probably won't find out anytime soon. But what do you think of this cut? Was there anything you think should be left out? Anything you thought I should have included? Let me know what you think!

TV Review Series: Birds of Prey (2002)

When I heard that there was a show that was about Batman and Catwoman's daughter, I thought, how have I not heard of this before? How has this show gone under the radar? Forget the premise, the fact that it's about the daughter of Batman and Catwoman should make it awesome! How could this have been forgotten?

Then I found out why.

There's a lot that I like about this show. But there's a lot that is kinda sad.

I guess I'll start with the bad.

It looks cheap. Anytime the camera tries "zooming" around New Gotham, it just looks like a 12 year old kid did it on his computer. Actually, I'm sure there are some 12 year old kids out there that could do something on their computer and make it look better than this.

The worst was the "birds eye view" of Huntress running across the rooftops. Not only was it terrible, but it was reused over and over throughout the season. The same shot.

So the show was cheap.

Next, the acting.

Most of the main cast was fine, but the character playing Dinah Lance (Black Canary's daughter) was just awful. The kind of acting that pulled you out of the show and reminded you, this is a WB/CW production.

What next? The costumes? It seemed like the costumes kept changing, without any actual reason. Not a huge complaint, but annoying nonetheless.

Hmm, story?

Several of the episodes were very good, and many of them played well with the idea that Harley Quinn was in the background of the criminal world rising to power. And I'm aware that, oftentimes, especially in first seasons, some episodes are more the "Freak of the Week" style than a story arc. But some of these episodes seemed so shoehorned into the seasons, it was distracting.

One of them was about a villain from Batgirl's past returning. And while this seemed like it was out of place, they at least took the time to show a background scene, to set a little background up to establish the story.

Another episode, however, is unforgivable. Without any previous exposition of Helena Kyle/Huntress' experience in high school, suddenly an episode comes along about her high school reunion. The villain of the story ends up doing everything because he "loves" and is otherwise obsessed with her. But we're shown nothing to make us believe that, and the actor is so sub-par that it's not believable. It's just out of nowehere, and goes back where it came from without me caring much for the episode.

Background

For something with the premise of "Batman's daughter and Batgirl" there was a notable lack of Batman. Catwoman was referenced significantly more, but still not much. Also, the story takes place in "New Gotham" but it never tells when "Old Gotham" became "New Gotham" or explore whether its the same town or two different towns. It gets into this a little bit in the "Gladiatress" episode, but it never really explains it like I would have liked. The whole story takes place in the future, but it doesn't care to explain our present/their past.

Ok, the good now.

Even though its a CW show,

Even though the main cast is three women,

Even though the main villain is also a woman,

And even though the theme song is very feminine,

I was still able to enjoy most of the show.

If you're a Family Guy watcher, you may remember the episode where Brian creates What I Learned on Jefferson Street and then input of the studio execs and whatnot and the actors turns it into Classholes. I feel like that's what happened with this show.

It seems like one person had a very strong vision for a female-oriented franchise that could hold its own with the likes of Smallville. Female lead, female supporting cast (with some guys in there too), and a female recurring villain. And that could have worked. But it seemed like somebody else was like "we should put the lead in her bra for a scene so that guys will watch this show" and it got diluted. And then somebody else said "the subject material is too mature, let's focus on this girl in high school to appeal more to younger viewers" followed by "let's have them fight over a freaking sweater because that's what the tween girls that watch this show do." It just seems like it lost focus and was trying to be too many things. And unfortunately it never got a second season to grow and find its niche.

That probably doesn't sound much like a compliment, but it is. I view this show as very similar to the first season of Smallville and Arrow, but with less commitment and focus overall. But I think it could have been much better if it lasted longer than 13 episodes.

So?

Unfortunately, because it's fairly rare, its also fairly expensive. At $35, it cost me more than most of my seasons of Smallville or Supernatural, and it's just not worth it. If you ever see it for $20 and you want to check it out, go for it if you're enough of a fan to look past the flaws. Otherwise, just know its basically a girl version of Batman.

TV Review Series: The Green Hornet (1966)

If you've been paying attention lately, you know that I've been working on reviewing movies for my 100 Words or Less project. And, because apparently watching every superhero/comic book movie I can get my hands on and reviewing it in 100 words wasn't enough of a challenge and didn't take up enough of my time, I decided to start reviewing TV shows as well. So this is the first in my series of TV reviews, although since these will be fewer and farther between, I'm not going to limit myself to 100 words.

The Green Hornet. I had never seen the show before a week ago, and I was surprised at how well it came across in 2013 as something that was made in 1966. The action took a while to get me buying it, but that was OK, because it wasn't an action-oriented show. And it wasn't an effects-oriented show either, so it doesn't seem too aged by ridiculous-looking effects. The show is oriented around its characters and the detective style story.

The characters are great. Van Williams does an amazing job at portraying these two different personas of Britt Reid and Green Hornet. I buy Britt as a rich playboy, who cares about the newspaper he owns and is an upright citizen. I also buy Green Hornet as a brave hero, masquerading as a villain, and taking the fight right to the criminals, defeating them from the inside. It's amazing, and its that pretend-to-be-villains-but-actually-we're-heroes aspect that I felt the Seth Rogen movie failed to do well. But this show did it wonderfully.

Bruce Lee (before he got famous) wasn't given much to do besides drive and fight, but the guy nailed Kato as a loyal friend and an amazing sidekick.

As for the supporting cast, Wende Wagner as Casey Cast, Reid's secretary never seemed useless. She never seemed like she was there only because she needed to be for the story. She always felt natural and organic, which is impressive for a female role in a hero genre. I think it helped that she wasn't in the role of "love interest" which is usually just a damsel in distress waiting to happen.

Lloyd Gough played Mike Axford, a police reporter, and again, his involvement with the plot always felt natural, and consistent, never forced or awkward. Also, it was somewhat believable that he wouldn't realize Green Hornet and Reid were the same person. Not totally believable, but somewhat.

Walter Brooke as DA Scanlon also always felt natural. Seeing a theme here? Really I think its the writers who deserve the props, because the balance among this cast was great.

I've never had any experience with any other version of Green Hornet except the 2011 film, so this is my go-to source material for right now. I truly think it was a really well-made show that has stood up well over time, despite some less-than-spectacular action and the occasional not-so-special effect. The focus was on the story, and the type of detective work in this show is what I've always felt was missing from Batman films. It seems like with Batman, either the work is ridiculous and campy and makes no logical sense whatsoever, or is so far-fetched and unbelievable, with the excuse (he's Batman) taken too much, that I never buy Batman as a legit detective. But this show did it perfect.